As I’ve mentioned before on Facebook, Chuck Norris is a hummingbird that sits in my willow oak tree all day, every day guarding the feeder under the tree. If another hummer tries to feed, Chuck swoops down and chases it away. This morning another hummer, I’ll call it Sylvester Stallone, evidently decided it didn’t want to put up with Chuck’s shit any longer. Sly landed on the feeder, Chuck attacked, and that started an epic air battle that lasted almost 30 minutes. If you’ve seen film of the dogfights that took place between British and German fighters during the Battle of Britain then you know what this battle looked like except that it went at 100x speed and in a small space. They fought a few inches over the feeder and then would rise high up into the branches of the 50’ willow oak. If Sly thought he had the advantage he’d swoop down to the feeder only to have Chuck attack with the sun at his back so he couldn’t be seen until it was too late. At one point both Chuck and Sly landed on opposite sides of the feeder to take a few sips of the hummingbird equivalent of Red Bull before resuming the battle. Another time they locked together, lost lift, and fell to the ground before disengaging. In the end Sly said no mas and flew away. Chuck resumed his lookout position in the tree.
If you are wondering how I can tell, from my deck, which bird was Chuck and which was Sly, that’s easy. Chuck is tiny, as hummingbirds go. Sly wasn’t.