I hooked Champ to his leash and we went outside. As we rounded the house into the backyard he saw three ducks under the bird feeder and lunged after them, like he always does. Except this time his leash snapped in the middle and it was off to the races. The ducks made one lap around the yard with Champ in close pursuit before they headed for the lake. I heard four splashes. Duck, duck, duck, Champ.
The lake in this summer heat is stagnant, fetid, and scum-covered. To make it even worse, when Champ finally came out he had to crawl on his belly up a steep, muddy bank.
When Champ breaks free like that he has no incentive to let me catch him so I ran inside and got his Puperonis. He knew something was up and I had to lunge for his collar a few times before I managed to grab it. He fought hard, twisting and turning, as I turned on the hose and rinsed as much of the muck off of him as I could.
When I got him into the kitchen I dried him off as well as I could but he was dripping dirty water onto the floor so our next stop was the bathtub. Lifting a 70 lb squirming, kicking dog into a bathtub isn't fun. Keeping him there while you soak, soap, and rinse him is even harder. Four bath towels later and he was dry enough to let loose in the house.
Now I need to wash six bath towels and the clothes I was wearing, clean the bathtub, mop the kitchen and bathroom floors, and wash the top sheet on my bed (he hopped up on the bed before I could get him into the tub). After that I'll shower.
Then it's off to Petsmart to see if they have a leash that's reinforced with steel like the sidewalls on a tire.